Three types of people

 Someone once said that there were two types of people: people who divide the world into two types of people, and people who don't! A brilliant paradox, but alas not wholly true, because there are three types of people, not two; it is as well to know these types because one of the most important decisions we will ever make is who we allow to enter our inner circle.

If we have too many 'drainers' – that is, emotional energy drainers in our circle, game players, negative people – we will quickly find that no matter how talented and knowledgeable we are, our prospects start becoming limited. Equally, the more 'boosters' we enjoy around us, the more energy we have, the more successful we are going to be even if our innate talent is not so strong.

The first way to spot who is a booster and who a drainer is by being in touch with one's feelings – you feel it in their presence: you feel 'bad' or you feel 'good', but the trouble with this simple prescription is that many people are not in touch with their feelings, so cannot differentiate until it is too late.

Thus it is that another way of categorising people might be useful, especially if the categorisation depended more on observation – thinking, rather than feeling. And there is such a way, and it involves considering what people talk about.

At the bottom end, the people to avoid or curtail, are mediocre people. What is their characteristic? Mediocre people talk about … other people! Bizarrely, this is not a good thing, because firstly, the talking about other people tends to be negative: criticism or worse, gossip, sarcasm, judgement and other detrimental words. Further, talking about other people tends to be about how they 'relate' to us – we become fixated by comparisons with them – we feel better in ourselves searching out their faults. Ultimately, we develop a co-dependence on them: we exist in the light of how they are, and not in our own essential self.

In the middle are average people. Average people talk about 'things': things are important to them. What are things? Possessions, typically: the house, the car, the money in the bank, the gadgets. Big things – my big status car? Bigger is better. Holidays and experiences – ever met the endless bore who wants to – whether you will or no – go on about the 36 countries they have visited, the five peaks they have climbed, the oceans they have yachted, and so on. There is of course nothing intrinsically wrong with going to 36 countries, climbing 5 peaks, and yachting across the oceans, only for these average people – who as a result of 'things' consider themselves superior people – they have transmogrified experience into a 'thing', a badge, a medal to display – and that is so average. It is what young children want for their efforts.

Finally, we have great people. What do great people talk about? Great people talk about ideas. Yes, they love meaning, they love freedom and creativity. They are open to change because talking about ideas can really engage them with other people; talking about ideas can throw new light on 'things', be they never so 'thing-y'. Talking about ideas means we can soar to be strategic, yet can stoop to be operational. Ideas energise – we can become excited by ideas. Ideas are to die for. Of course becoming fixated on one idea and closed to other possibilities starts to limit the greatness, but nevertheless habitually talking about ideas is a sure sign of a great person.

So, this is not about how we feel – it's about what does that person talk about most of the time? Other people? Possessions and things? Or are they talking ideas? Let's get more ideas people into our lives.